Correspondence and reality
Very many people all over the world are fond of long-distance relationships. Why does it happen so? What should we do not to get disappointed? You know very often it happens that those people who have corresponded for a long while usually get disappointed during the personal meeting. This concerns both those people who correspond via e-mail and those who use regular mail. Personal meeting is absolutely different from long-term relationships, from writing letters. You can write letters when you have inspiration and time. If not then you can get back to them some other time. You have time to think it over thoroughly read it again and again several times, perfect your style or rewrite it.
These long distance relationships reminds of romantic dates before marriage. The quarrels happen rather seldom and it looks that everything is ideal. But even during this period they have an opportunity to meet only when they are in a suitable mood and when they have a desire to do it. Otherwise (if they do not wish to see each other) they will find one hundred and one reason for postponing the date. Later on (after marriage) you have to communicate with this person every day, even if you would like to stay alone for some time. The main difference of real communication from long distance relationships is in the volume of information about your interlocutor that you get. While communicating to someone personally it is rather difficult to conceal some facts. I men the information that the person gets judging by your reaction, though the person can try to minimize the volume of such kind of information. No matter how hard he can try to do it, it happens subconsciously.
In letters the person can provide you only with the information that will show him to advantage. It is common knowledge that we get more than half of the information about a person non-verbally (you can see the expression of the face, hear the intonation and consequently judge about the mood of the person). You will never find all these things in long distance relationships and if you reading a letter from someone you do not know you can only imagine the missing details, thus you make an ideal image that can be easily broken to pieces during at the first meeting. Moreover as a rule people are not as sincere in personal talks as they are in their correspondence.
While corresponding with each other people just imagine their interlocutors and even their interests that may seem common turn out to differ greatly in reality, in real life people can even fail to understand each other. So if two people meet you may be absolutely sure that your meeting will be totally different from what you expected.
|