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Struggles Of The 21st Century: Why Is It So Hard To Find A Good Woman?

date Jul 8, 2020
views 2845

We live in the 21st century, sexually, romantically, socially and many other «-illy» liberalized world. Your parents are not choosing a partner for you. Moreover, you do not have to adhere to their advice when choosing one. You do not need to marry a woman and be the only breadwinner. You do not have to marry early or because society tells you to. And so on.

Would it not sound like a paradise to the old-school Romeo and Juliet? You can choose whoever you want for marriage. But it is easier said than done. Somehow, it is not easier to find a perfect match, although you have everything on your plate. What’s the matter? Why is it so hard to find a good woman?

Here we will explain to you why it is challenging to find a compatible woman and what to do about it.

beautiful woman

Who is a "good woman"?

Before asking anyone, including yourself, why is it so hard to find a good woman, define for yourself who this woman is. We have different tastes, different visions, and expectations. What kind of woman are you looking for that you cannot find?

  • Is it an independent woman who can provide for herself but who also wants to marry?
  • Is it a potential housewife and future mother of your kids?
  • Is it a woman who can cook well and with whom you can discuss politics and art?
  • Is it a humble, calm, and kind lady who will love you and cater to you like a mother?
  • Is it an unconventional beauty with a creative mind with whom it will be fun to travel and explore new things?
  • Is it the one who does not drink or smoke?

Now, as you have narrowed down your understanding of a ‘good woman’, ask yourself – where and how have you searched for her? For example:

  • Did you search for such a woman in your ‘neighborhood’ – among your friends, relatives, at work, anywhere else in your "vicinity"?
  • Did you try online dating in your country? Was it a hookup app like Tinder or a site for people with serious marriage intentions?
  • Did you look for such a woman on international dating and marriage sites?
  • Or were you just sitting idle waiting for such a woman to come into your life on her own?

Whichever approach you took, understand this: the harder you try to find a ‘GOOD woman’, the lower are your chances of finding anyone.


Because you should not be looking for a "GOOD" woman. You should not be LOOKING for anyone at all. Instead, you need to relax. You need to be happy alone, strengthen a relationship with yourself. And only then you can open up to LETTING a COMPATIBLE woman enter your life. This does not mean you should not do anything. It only means you should get busy with other things in life, prepare the ground for MEETING someone else (like registering and being active on dating sites), and simply enjoy communication with various ladies until you find one with whom YOU are COMFORTABLE.

All this, however, does not exclude the fact that the current world poses dozens of challenges to those who want to be in a relationship.

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Dating challenges of your generation

Let’s look at the main challenges of contemporary dating which complicate meeting a compatible partner, including a "good woman".

The choice is too wide

One of the main challenges of 21st-century dating, as one may think, is that the array of choices has become too wide. Online you can find anyone, even a stranger on the other side of the world, not like before. Many may compare it, let’s say, to the wide choice of jams in a supermarket – the more various jars are there, the less you will be prompted to choose any as it is a very complicated task. However, according to Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld, who studies online dating, this is not the same with dating, including online dating.

The availability of wider choices does not stop us from dating, Rosenfeld said. He also added that he has not seen data that would show any repercussions for people who choose online dating over offline dating. He said it does not matter how you met your partner if you end up in a relationship - the relationship sooner or later will be offline.

Therefore, if you think that you cannot find a good woman because the choice of ladies online is too broad, the problem is not with the choice, but with your attitude. Maybe you are searching in the wrong place? Or maybe it is you who cannot narrow down your choice?

Dating isn’t the same anymore

So why is it so hard to find a good woman? Well, if you need a traditional woman who would want to get married, raise children, and so on, it indeed may be challenging. Rosenfeld explains that a few years ago people tended to settle down at a certain point in life. Nowadays, as women have become more financially independent from men, they do not rush to get married. Many women are happier single and childless than when married.

When searching for a partner, you should not waste your time dating a woman who has different visions for your future life. If she’s not up for marriage, move on. There are thousands of ‘good women’ willing to find a husband. The question is whether you have been looking for them in the right place.

beautiful girl

Different values

Another reason why it is hard to find a ‘good woman’ is that our societies are becoming more diverse. People have different education, social status, religion, views on politics, raising children, rights of women, LGBT, and so on, even within one country!

Before finding a ‘good woman’, you need to clearly understand what your views are. And only after that search for a woman with the same views. If your basic beliefs are drastically different, it is not likely you will click with her.

You may think that in online dating things will be even harder. But Rosenfeld says it will be even easier as you can go to dating sites which are aimed at people interested in marriage and you can save your time by filtering out people with the opposite of your views!


Now you understand what makes it hard to find a good woman. Understanding the problem is 50% of its successful solving. So what about solving now? We suggest you try out international dating and mail order bride sites. Why? Because:

  1. They have huge numbers of single women, interested in serious relationships and marriage
  2. You can choose a country where people’s beliefs, religion, and view on relationship match your expectations
  3. On such sites, you can use filters to search for the most compatible women
  4. You can get out of a vicious circle and meet someone truly special!

This is it. We hope you got your answer to the «why it is hard to find a good woman» question.

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